THE INSPIRATION PLACE PODCAST
Miriam Schulman:
Well, hello. This is your host, Artist Miriam Schulman. And you’re listening to Episode number 107 of The Inspiration Place podcast. I’m so honored that you’re here. Today we’re talking all about how to use visual journaling to heal trauma. In this episode, you’ll discover how using a visual journal is an effective form of therapy. We’ll share an exercise you can try today to lessen your anxiety in the face of uncertainty. And finally, we’ll talk about why we all need some soothing to recover from the collective trauma we’ve all been experiencing in 2020.
Today’s guest was born and raised in the state of Maine. She worked as a licensed clinical social worker in private practice and the Army National Guard. She specializes in trauma treatment. Her art journaling has coincided with her 20 year career in social work, the love of art becoming a therapeutic, creative outlet and passion. She returned to college enrolling in art courses following her time on active duty in the U.S. Air Force. She has published art work in several Stampington & Company’s nationwide magazines from 2012 to 2019, published in Studio Visit and Art Journal pages shown throughout the state of Maine art galleries.
In her journals, the words paint and ink spill across the pages with no conscious plan or desired outcome, nothing off limits. The work is intuitive and often incorporates themes of woman and the pursuit of freedom. Our guest recently co-authored A Visual Workbook, The Story of Tat Nook & You for young adult trauma survivors. The book was created for trauma survivors to know that they are not alone. There is hope and provide tools and resources to help guide them along the path of healing. Please welcome to The Inspiration Place, Amber Walker. Well hello, Amber, welcome to the show.
Amber Walker:
Hello, Miriam. Thank you for inviting me. I appreciate it.
Miriam Schulman:
Well, it’s so good to see you again even though it’s not exactly in person.
Amber Walker:
Right. We can pretend.
Miriam Schulman:
We can. So Amber and I know each other from the thing called real life which I desperately miss right now.
Amber Walker:
Me too.
Miriam Schulman:
In the days when we used to socialize, not over Zoom.
Amber Walker:
Right.
Miriam Schulman:
So Amber and I actually met in New Mexico. Wait a minute, you weren’t with me on the horse ride.
Amber Walker:
Yes. I wondered if you were going to bring that up.
Miriam Schulman:
Wait. We’ve got to talk about this. Okay. All right. So why don’t you tell everybody what this whole retreat was about that you and I both ended up in and then we’ll talk about the horses.
Amber Walker:
Well, I think the retreat was called The Call of the Wild, which is interesting that we ended up on the horses on the retreat because I don’t recall being part of the plan for the retreat.
Miriam Schulman:
No, no.
Amber Walker:
It was all art.
Miriam Schulman:
Right.
Amber Walker:
Yeah. Flora Bowley and Orly Avineri and we were attending all these different workshops but then we had this opportunity at Georgia O’Keeffe ranch to ride horses. I’m not sure why we signed up for that.
Miriam Schulman:
I’m not either.
Amber Walker:
Do you remember?
Miriam Schulman:
No, because all I remember was being traumatized in the fourth grade when my mother sent me to Girl Scout camp and I was allergic to hay, the horse bit me. It was not a good experience. I don’t know what possessed … I think it was because it was the only way you could actually see her ranch was on horseback. That was it.
Amber Walker:
Oh, it’s coming back to me now. I think you’re right. I think yes, because you couldn’t actually get into her house but you could see it from that horse trail that we went on. Yes, and I think that’s what enticed us to sign up.
Miriam Schulman:
Yes. Also, I had heard the cowboys were cute.
Amber Walker:
[inaudible 00:05:04].
Miriam Schulman:
Really? I can’t remember.
Amber Walker:
You can’t remember-
Miriam Schulman:
No, because I was just in a state. Speaking about trauma, I wouldn’t put this in the same category of what we’re going to be talking about but I was terrified to get up on that horse. They were a lot bigger than I remembered, realized, or considered.
Amber Walker:
Me too. I actually did ride horses as a kid so I thought, “Oh, this is a piece of cake. I can do this.” The horses were much taller and much faster than I remembered.
Miriam Schulman:
Right. Even though I had the Girl Scout experience, I think what I really remembered is when I was five going to these pony ride birthday parties where you have these little tiny horses which really aren’t horses because they’re ponies. So I thought we were going on a pony ride. I didn’t know it was this ginormous horse you had to actually climb up on … Now, anybody who’s ridden horses are probably laughing at us. You had to climb up on a ladder to get up on to the horse.
Amber Walker:
Yes, that’s what concerned me right away.
Miriam Schulman:
Exactly, right. That and the other concern I had was the English gal-
Amber Walker:
Yes.
Miriam Schulman:
Remember that? She was-
Amber Walker:
Yes, there were two of them and they knew how to ride very well and they wanted to trot. Do you remember that?
Miriam Schulman:
I do remember that because we did trot. It was a little bit painful.
Amber Walker:
It was terrifying.
Miriam Schulman:
I know that too. I have to say the hardest part though was that first 15 feet out of, I know I’m going to embarrass myself, is it called a corral? Maybe it’s not called a, I’m not sure. I don’t think either one of us know. But where the horses are kept.
Amber Walker:
That sounds good.
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah, it sounds real professional. To get from the corral to the horse trail, you had to go down into a little gully and then back up again and the rest of it was flat because we were, even though you’re surrounded by these magnificent mountains, you’re really in a valley the whole time I think, right?
Amber Walker:
I think so.
Miriam Schulman:
Were you scared the whole time?
Amber Walker:
It’s funny that part’s fuzzy.
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah, that part’s fuzzy.
Amber Walker:
I just remember the trotting was terrifying. I thought, “Oh, trotting, that doesn’t sound bad.” So that’s the part that stands out in my mind. We were both like, “What? Trotting? Okay.”
Miriam Schulman:
The scariest part for me was that initial I’m just going to eat the money at this point because there’s no way I’m getting on this horse like, “Okay, I’m out of here.” But I think it was the best part of the trip.
Amber Walker:
I do too. It’s funny because that’s what I recall the most when I think of it.
Miriam Schulman:
Right. I don’t remember any art that I learned. We had, what was it, four days of art?
Amber Walker:
I think so, yeah.
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah. So I had the pleasure, Amber, we were sitting next to each other. Is that right? How we-
Amber Walker:
Yeah. We were roommates, right?
Miriam Schulman:
No.
Amber Walker:
And then me-
Miriam Schulman:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Amber Walker:
I thought we were.
Miriam Schulman:
No. My roommate wouldn’t talk to me the whole time. It was really embarrassing. I really wanted a single, I would’ve paid extra for that and I was just stuck with somebody i didn’t know and it was not as friendly as you, let’s just put it that way, or maybe I wasn’t friendly. Who knows what happened there? We always think it’s the other person. It’s always us.
Amber Walker:
Right. That shows you how much we hung out together though. I thought you were my roommate.
Miriam Schulman:
Right. Right. Well, I remember sketching the cacti with you.
Amber Walker:
Yes.
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah.
Amber Walker:
We took some photographs of each other. Do you remember that?
Miriam Schulman:
I do.
Amber Walker:
We’d do poses, yeah.
Miriam Schulman:
Well, I didn’t before until you just mentioned it but yes, I do remember now. Yeah, that was fun. And then, I just want to let everyone know the reason we’re still in touch is Amber publishes articles in Art Journal magazine which is the Stampington publication and I had my articles published. And I think we were published in the same magazine issues too. That was fun.
Amber Walker:
Yeah. I think I saw your article from the retreat, right? You made one of your art pieces into a book and it was in the Art Journaling magazine.
Miriam Schulman:
I did. So what happened was, I’m hoping this is interesting to the listeners because we’re talking about it regardless. So the first two days we made this giant mandala on a full sheet of watercolor paper and that was the course we did with Flora Bowley and her BFF whose name I can’t, do you remember her name? It’s Vita something?
Amber Walker:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:09:32].
Miriam Schulman:
These are all made up names, by the way. Everyone picks a stage name I think in the art world except me. This is my real name. Is that your real name too?
Amber Walker:
Amber’s my real name.
Miriam Schulman:
On the way to the retreat, the woman I was sharing a car with, we were discussing … I’m not going to say that out loud what we thought of the made up names. Lily and Flora and this and that and somebody who had never known about it was … Anyway, you know how you come up with what your hooker name is going to be like your street name plus a flower plus-
Amber Walker:
Right.
Miriam Schulman:
Right. Exactly. It’s like that. Well, my name is Rose Brumley. The first two days were lovely. I had fun. I didn’t think I’d be able to get that huge sheet of watercolor back on the plane again from New Mexico to New York. So on day number three, you weren’t with me on day three, you did a different course?
Amber Walker:
I did, yep. I went with Orly’s course.
Miriam Schulman:
Okay. So I thought I was going to be taught how to embroider, it was some sort of embroidery course. No, no, no, no, no, they just said, “Here’s the supplies.” So I was a little frustrated in that class. So me being the rebel that I am, I turned my watercolor sheet into an accordion art journal and so that’s what I did with the article.
Amber Walker:
That was so cool. I remember that because I remember you saying like, “How am I going to get this on the plane?” And you problem solved quickly and made it into a book.
Miriam Schulman:
Well, it was solving two problems. My frustration with the embroidery class that I didn’t want to do so I’m just going to work on my journal. So anyway, here we are, Amber has a book, The Visual Journal. And Amber, I didn’t actually know that you are, is a social worker would be your title or what would that-
Amber Walker:
Yeah, yes. Licensed clinical social worker.
Miriam Schulman:
I never realized that. This is an amazing book and it couldn’t come at a more perfect time. What was your intention behind this book?
Amber Walker:
The interesting thing is I felt like it came to me. I didn’t set out to create this book to begin with, I started to have inspiration I guess you’d say. This isn’t actually in the book but I did write about this on my website and it’s I saw this still train that had graffiti on it and it had this young girl, and it really stood out to me because usually the graffiti’s not very good on our trains here in Maine, but this one was spectacular. And it was this young woman and she had this yellow hat, and it was slouched down over her eyes.
I started to think about this idea of healing going with inside yourself and that the healing journey’s not outside of you. And so I started thinking about this intuitive flight, internal flight. And then I started thinking about a young girl walking along a young girl’s journey while she’s healing from trauma. And I thought, “Wow. What would that be like to create a visual journal that her stories intertwine through it in helping somebody through each prompt?”
So that’s how it started to evolve and I just wanted people to know they’re not alone as they’re going through the process because I think it could be a very lonely time when you’re working on trauma and you’re working with your therapist. I think sometimes people can feel like they’re alone even though I know there’s been a Me Too movement and people see that, I think it still can be challenging. So I thought, “Wow. I just really hope that people could embrace the fact that they were not alone.” This trauma survivor was next to them and doing these prompts with them and showing examples from her work.
Miriam Schulman:
I like the way that you approached that. And I just want to take a moment to define trauma. You can think about it in a very limited way and think it doesn’t apply to you but then if you think about it in a different way, it actually is something that can apply to a lot of us. So can you share your wisdom on how you would define trauma and who this is for?
Amber Walker:
I’m so glad you said that because I’ll hear that a lot actually in my practice. People will say, “I don’t know if that’s really a trauma or not.” And really the only definition that I use in my practice is does it divide a time before and after? So can you go back and say, “I was this person before and I was this person after,”? Was it a real defining event for you that changed you? And so that can be something a car accident for some people come into the practice to work on for trauma, abuse, it can be combat. So it is a very loose definition. It’s something that’s impacted you and now is impacting your life in a negative way.
Miriam Schulman:
Personally with my daughter, so she’s 22, she’s in college. About a year and a half ago, she had a massive seizure and she was in the ICU for a whole week. And that was her defining moment that really separated before and after and she still has episodes now which they have to be defined really as PTSD because it’s like she doesn’t feel safe in her own body. We’re all going through a collective trauma right now with COVID and everything that’s happening. But to her it’s a little bit next level because of that feeling of not feeling safe, not having that, and I know you talk about safety a lot in your book. Can you share one of the exercises about creating a safe space? Because I think people need to understand how visual journaling fits in with the way you use art to heal.
Amber Walker:
That’s actually a foundational practice that we even use. I’m trained in EMDR and that’s one of the ways that we treat trauma. And so before we do that, one of the things we do is create safe place. And so safe place, you can do this visualization of where is a place where you felt completely safe and okay? That’s the criteria it has to meet. And you really don’t want it to be dependent on a person in case that relationship shifts or maybe there’s been some hardships in the relationship. So really that might be a time you went to the ocean and you can recall feeling really safe with maybe rocks around you and your feet in the sand and you’re really involving all the senses.
What did you smell? What did you hear? What did you see? And I’ll have people go through all those senses and then you can create the visual journal page. So what are those colors? What are the shapes? Maybe you’re like, “I don’t know if I can draw,” maybe you have a photograph of it. I encourage people to put their photograph in the visual space and then write about what is it about that space that makes you feel safe and okay. And the great thing is then you can have that visual reminder of it and wherever you are you can bring up that safe place in your head if you need and no one needs to know you’re even doing it.
And it’s different for different people. It could be the mountains, it could be the ocean, it could be a grandmother’s kitchen. It’s different for everyone. And some people have said to me, “Well, I’ve never felt safe or okay anywhere.” So we’ll explore where could you find that place. So then you do some excursions and obviously in safe places so you can get to that feeling and really engage all the senses. So you can really immerse yourself in it in that visualization.
Miriam Schulman:
That’s wonderful. I love that. I have a question.
Amber Walker:
Sure.
Miriam Schulman:
When you’re talking about defining trauma as the before, the you before, the you after, is the healed you trying to get to where you were before the trauma or evolve into a new place?
Amber Walker:
That is a really hard part of the trauma work is a lot of people will say, “I want to be that person again.” And unfortunately, part of the work is grief because that doesn’t typically happen. What happens is an integration of that self because we’re constantly evolving even if we don’t have trauma in our life. I mean 2020 is going to become part of us and what we’ve been through and we’ve changed because of it. So we’re this new self. And so you won’t return typically to that old self, that’s never the goal. The goal is to integrate that trauma and somehow get to this place where this is the new you that you embrace.
And sometimes there’s some real gifts that come from that of being a survivor. And there’s studies being done where they’re finding that you even evolve to a place of greater growth and they call it post-traumatic growth that you’re going to be functioning at an even higher level than before the trauma. Because think about it, when you’ve gone through hard times and you got through them, you probably have had to dig deep and get to that inner strength that’s inside of you. You can pull from that then. You know it’s part of you. So yeah, the goal is not to return to the old self.
Miriam Schulman:
That’s awesome. So it’s kind of like when you have a wound and your wound heals you’re going to have a scar tissue on top that’s going to be harder than it was before you had that wound. Would that be right?
Amber Walker:
You could use the word scar. Sometimes I think of it as, it was almost like you had this map that you’re carrying along and you’re on this map and you’re navigating it and then all of a sudden something takes place on the map that thrusts you in a different direction. You would not have wanted that. You’ve not wanted that to happen. So all of a sudden, this new map is unfolding. So you’re making choices and you’re also integrating those old steps that you had but creating new steps. You could use the word scar. I also use it as this warrior that you’ve become and this is you’re a survivor of something hard and painful and yet here you are still standing. And a lot of times helping somebody else along the way.
Miriam Schulman:
I hate to interrupt but I just wanted to let you know that I do have room inside my Artist Incubator program. It’s my small group private coaching program for artists who are serious about making a living from their art. If you’re lacking a solid strategy or a winning mindset or maybe you’ve been disappointed with your current art sales, I can help with that. If you’ve been listening to this podcast and you found my tips helpful, then maybe now it’s time to take the next logical step and come work with me on a deeper level.
The Artist Incubator program is by invitation only which is why I ask you to fill out an application and choose a time to talk with me. I only want artists who truly are a great fit. It’s not a sales call. It is a discovery call. So go to schulmanart.com/biz to apply now. Now, back to the show.
So you mentioned how we’re all going through this collective trauma in 2020.
Amber Walker:
Yes, yes.
Miriam Schulman:
Unbelievable. Who knew?
Amber Walker:
Not me.
Miriam Schulman:
No, none of us. I’m one of those naïve people back in March, I thought it’d be all blown over and that’s not because I buy into what the President says. I really did think that, “Oh, flu season always ends by May.” What we’re all faced with right now which has been really traumatic for all of us is the anxiety of uncertainty. Amber, do you have an exercise that you recommend for us to lessen this anxiety that we’re all facing? We always thought, and this is the other thing is that sometimes I get annoyed when people say, “We’re living in uncertain times.” I’m like, “When has it ever been certain? We just thought it was.” In February, we thought everything was certain but it really wasn’t. We had no idea what was happening. So what would you say that now that we have this bigger awareness of how our life is uncertain and it’s causing us anxiety, what do you recommend?
Amber Walker:
Yeah. I think it really heightens anxiety. There is a heightened awareness of like, “Okay. What do I have power and control over and what don’t I have power and control over?” It’s really important to sit quietly and again, go within yourself and say, “Okay. What are my truths? What is certain right now? What do I believe?” And maybe that’s as simple as I believe the sun’s going to rise tomorrow morning. And then focusing in on that and maybe you create a journal page around that, around the sunrise, around the colors and write some thoughts about what’s that look like. Maybe you get up and you make sure that you see the sunrise that day because we still have power and control about how we show up in this time.
One thing that I at the very beginning of this said to myself, “After we get through this time, what do I want to look back and see myself doing? How do I want to look back and say this is how I showed up?” And some days it was as simple as I showered and my daughter had her homeschooling for 30 minutes, check. And I’m okay with that. That was thriving that day. But I want to look back and also say these were some things, not that I accomplished, but maybe just some things that I practiced with my daughter. For instance, one day we went, it was at the very beginning of this, and we went to the grocery store. There were shields and masks and this was pretty early on and I hadn’t taken her anywhere but we happened to have to run in that day. We laughed and she says, “Are you scared?” And I said, “Yes, I am. This is scary.”
And so we actually ditched the schedule and we drove to the ocean that day, no one was around which was amazing because it’s a gorgeous spot in Maine and we just stood on the rocks and looked at the ocean and talked about how beauty still exists in these uncertain times.
I’m excited that I can look back and I can share this with you. I can say I stood at the ocean with my daughter and shared this moment. So really asking yourself what do you want to look back and see yourself doing? And I encourage people not to focus so much on achievement because I know as a parent myself through this time, I wasn’t writing the book. I was wrapping it up as COVID-19 hit and I don’t think I’d be doing much writing now. So it’s less about achievement and I think more just about emotionally being present and what do you most need to hear, what is your truth, what is still certain?
Miriam Schulman:
That’s beautiful. Yeah. After we finished cleaning a few closets, we got bored of that pretty quickly and it’s like, “Okay, this is lasting a little longer than I thought. I’m going to read so many books.” And I got through the entire Harry Potter series again.
Amber Walker:
That’s amazing.
Miriam Schulman:
I started at book one, I got through all the way to book seven and then I was like, “Oh, the pandemic’s still happening. Now what do I do?” So it’s like, “Okay, we’ll watch the movies.” Now we’ll do the audiobooks. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I think I also had a lot of comfort from reading stories where I knew how it was going to end.
Amber Walker:
Yes. That’s a great idea. Sometimes I found comfort just in watching a movie too that had such a happy ending.
Miriam Schulman:
Right, like [crosstalk 00:24:34] movies only please. Nobody needs to die. We need a lot of preparation for that.
Amber Walker:
Right.
Miriam Schulman:
So tell me about your partner writing this though because I see it’s a co-written book.
Amber Walker:
Yes. So that’s powerful because I had a version completed. I didn’t care for the writing. I felt like it was too just childish and disjointed and so I happened to be co-facilitating on conference with another social worker and I shared it with her and she said, “No, I think there’s something here.” And at the end of the conference, she said to me, “Are you okay if I ask the question if someone’s here is open to looking at it and maybe being a co-writer with you?” And I said, “Yeah, that would be great.” So she asked the question and afterwards, after the conference closed, Cindy, who is the co-author approached me. And strangely enough, we worked together almost 20 years ago in a group home for young adults and she said, “I’m interested in doing the writing.”
And so she took a copy with her. I felt like that’s where Tat Nook, that’s the girl in the book, really got her voice because that’s where Cindy really started putting words to it that really felt like a genuine trauma survivor story and connected. And then what’s interesting too, and Cindy shares some of this in her bio that Cindy actually did some of her own trauma work when she was a teenager and she did artwork through that process. So she said to me, “What do you think about including my artwork in the book? I’ll just send it to you, see what you think.” Some of Cindy’s artwork of when she was a teenager working on her trauma history is in the book which I think is just so powerful. That’s part of Tat Nook artwork.
Miriam Schulman:
How did you distinguish between your artwork and her artwork or did you? Can you tell whose is whose?
Amber Walker:
Funny. We actually didn’t distinguish. It was all Tat Nook’s artwork because her whole file was Tat Nook is all these trauma survivors we’ve worked with over the years because now we’re both in our private practice doing trauma work. And so we’ve sat with countless trauma survivors and so we really wanted Tat Nook’s artwork to hopefully hold a lot of those stories that we’ve heard and really present some of the stories. I thought at first when she sent me the artwork, because someone even mentioned that to me, “Well, will it look like two different artists? So, it won’t look like Tat Nook’s.” And it really didn’t because her artwork ended up being more through …
There’s really three sections to the book. And her artwork ended up actually being more through the trauma section. My artwork’s more in the coping strategies, the grounding, getting you ready for the work and then hers is through that trauma section of writing the trauma if you feel comfortable, if you’re in there being the something that you feel comfortable doing. And then towards the end is integrating that into your story and really owning that you’re a survivor and a warrior. And that’s more my work, again. So it made a really interesting arc to the work, it was like it was meant to be, as cheesy as that sounds.
Miriam Schulman:
I didn’t really notice there was an interrupt because when I went through the book of a different style, I find that interesting. Now I know that you’re gearing this towards young adults. Who is this book too mature for? What would you put the age of being, defining that?
Amber Walker:
Probably I would go as young as 15 and then if they were in there being the therapist looked at it recommended it, then they could go younger than that. I think they could go as young as 13 but I wouldn’t go any younger than 15 if you’re just picking it up. And I would even recommend just a parent flipping through it to see that you really want to be ready for the work unless you just want to do, there’s a lot of activities for instance color breathing, breathing in the color that’s soothing, breathing out a color distress, a grounding exercise where you get mindful of the very moment. So there’s a lot of exercises like that but once you get into more of the trauma work like the writing and stuff, I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re sitting with a therapist as well. Because this really was meant as a guide to help along that process of therapy.
Miriam Schulman:
My daughter took a look at it and she did have that feeling like, “I don’t want to do this where mom can see it. So I can’t do this in your copy.”
Amber Walker:
Yeah, yeah. That’s very true. I would say definitely I hope that if a teenager picks it up, young adult, that it’s just theirs and it isn’t for anyone else to view other than their therapist obviously, because what we really hope is that they’ll dive into it, make it their own. It can be personal. It’s just like, I don’t know about you, Miriam, but from my art journal it’s personal. And sometimes it’s so personal that I paint over it or burn the page or whatever it might be afterwards. So that’s what we hope for this book is it can be personal. It’s not something you put on Facebook, it’s something you can dump into it and just release and express and not have to be perfect, and not have to be pretty.
Miriam Schulman:
[crosstalk 00:29:53] worthy.
Amber Walker:
Yeah, yeah, right.
Miriam Schulman:
Not everything has to be shared.
Amber Walker:
Yeah. Yeah. Which is so nice. I hope it’s a container for them where it’s like, “Wow. This is a container, an extension of my privacy. I get to do this on my own.” I’m so glad you mentioned that because I think that that’s a powerful thing that they get to protect, they get to choose like, “Okay, this is for me. This isn’t something I want mom to look at.”
Miriam Schulman:
Right. One thing that’s interesting, Amber, when you and I both published in Art Journal magazine, they actually ask you when you submit your journal for publication you can put sticky notes on pages and label it not for publication. Did you do that like actually hide some pages?
Amber Walker:
I have done that but it’s more … I remember one time Ticia Moore, I loved her style and this is years ago, I did her style on a page so I didn’t want it published because I felt like it wasn’t my style. I felt like it was Ticia’s style and I didn’t want that to be owned as mine, you know what I mean? So I put there but typically if it’s super personal, I’m typically painting over it. It’s in the layers. I know it’s there but you don’t see it.
Miriam Schulman:
Right.
Amber Walker:
How about you?
Miriam Schulman:
When I submitted it was more like inner critic type stuff like, “Oh, I’m not sure this one is good enough.” It was more like that kind of thing rather than something being too personal because my journals tend to be very text-based but even then you don’t know what I’m talking about unless it’s a list of things because a lot of my art, and this is true not just of Art Journal pages but all my art. The emotions are there, the stories are there. It may not be explicit and I know it’s there and sometimes I don’t even know it’s there, it’s there.
Amber Walker:
Yes.
Miriam Schulman:
You know what I’m talking about, right?
Amber Walker:
I do. I’ve seen it even go, I don’t know about you, but even looking back at a page and it’s like, “Whoa, I didn’t even see that until after.” So it was in there but it wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t something that I even was conscious of in the moment or even at that time but I can flip back and like, “Oh, that’s right.”
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah. And somebody who’s a trained art historian who’s used to looking at symbolism in art might be able to tease some things out. I had this experience where I, this is I think going a year ago I went to Israel, it makes me sound like I’m such a world traveler which I guess I am because I went to New Mexico with you, right?
Amber Walker:
Right.
Miriam Schulman:
Right. So anyway, I was in Israel and the trip was all Judaism trip but there was this one day we had a free day. I said, “Let’s go to an art gallery.” And I grabbed some friends and I was pointing out all kinds of stuff to them that to me was visually obvious but I knew wasn’t to them like, “Well, you see here there’s a butterfly, that always represents metamorphose. And you see there’s a thread here, that’s her healing herself.” There’s certain things that it’s a visual language that if you’re very familiar with how people use visual languages you can untangle it and decipher it but it’s not obvious. Do you agree with that?
Amber Walker:
I do, yeah. Because you have a trained eye, you’re working with these symbolism and you’re in it. So I feel like even with my art journaling, I don’t know if you find this, but I notice so much more of my environment. So I can see why you pick up symbolism and things like that, things that I probably would’ve never have noticed before art journaling. I remember I was actually active duty, I was sitting in a conference and we’re all in our uniforms and there was blue shining in the glass, blue shining through our glasses and I couldn’t figure out why. And I really wanted to capture a picture but that would be very odd for me to take out my camera with all of us sitting in uniform taking pictures of the glass. But I don’t think I would’ve noticed that without my practice. So I think it gives you this other way of seeing your world and seeing artwork.
Miriam Schulman:
I know that a lot of my students and I’m talking not just about art journaling but my watercolor students once they get into the practice of working in this visual medium, they start to see the world a little bit differently. That’s not just blue but what shade of blue is that and how does that blue make me feel and the light on things. So it really helps awaken your senses. We talk about the before and the after trauma, there’s also the before and after the, I don’t know what to call it, the art enlightenment, your artistic awakening so to speak.
Amber Walker:
Yes.
Miriam Schulman:
Do you agree with that too?
Amber Walker:
I do. I don’t feel like I noticed my environment like I have since my art practice. And everything becomes fodder for the art journal. I remember I was in a parking lot once and I was with a friend and I happened to see it was like this circle paper cutout thing and I just dove for it and they’re like, “Oh my word, you almost got hit by a car.” I’m like, “Oh, I didn’t even notice the car but I noticed the circle thing that I’m going to use with my spray paint.” So you got to be cautious about that.
Miriam Schulman:
Amber, that brings me to a great question. What brought you first to art journaling or art?
Amber Walker:
This is what is so strange about Cindy coming forward, the co-author, because that’s where my art journey began. It was Sabrina Ward Harrison’s Spilling Open book. I was doing therapy with teenage girls and I was doing group work with them. I didn’t want it to be the same talk session after talk session so I thought, “Wow. What could I do for some art?” So I looked out there to see and she had just published her Spilling Open book. And I was like, “This is amazing.” And so I started this, it was a six-week group, and it was every girl’s a princess. It was based on this poem she had in her Spilling Open book. And we did it a lot.
We did these art journal pages around them owning their worth and their value and seeing their worth and their value. And so I fell in love with the artwork. At times, I’m like, “Oh yeah, right, I’m running a group. Don’t get too into your art.” But it spilled over, that’s when scrap booking had an explosion. I don’t know if you remember that times. I was in the scrap booking aisles buying supplies and running home and throwing it in a journal. I’ve never looked back. I’ve kept an art journal since that time. I think it was 2000, 2001 maybe is when because it was right when her book came out.
Miriam Schulman:
Wow. Wow. I like the way Amber beats me then. [inaudible 00:36:31]. I used to see people doing it, I didn’t get it because I’m all about our sales and our business and how can I monetize this. And this is something you do just for you? Until I realized, “Oh, the reason you do it is because it’s just for you.”
Amber Walker:
Yeah. I get that question. I get people that ask me, “Why do you do it?” And sometimes I have to ask myself that because it’s not a money maker, it’s not something I have put out there to have a business but it’s been incredibly therapeutic.
Miriam Schulman:
Oh for sure. And my daughter keeps an art journal. She has a very different way of journaling than you or I. It’s very much text-based, no paint, and she uses washi tape and makes very elaborate patterns with it.
Amber Walker:
Oh, cool.
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah. So it’s almost like a collage of washi and she uses it in her day planner. She basically covers over pages she doesn’t need anymore. It’s interesting what she does but she just finds the repetition of the taping very soothing to her and then creating these patterns. I haven’t really fully asked her that process because I know it’s so personal that I feel to ask her too many questions might be intrusive. Maybe it’s not, maybe it’s me not being interested enough in my child. Who knows?
Amber Walker:
That’s part of what I love about when I do teach art journaling groups is seeing how … You can even give the same instructions to everybody in the room but everybody, it’s their fingerprint, right?
Miriam Schulman:
Oh yeah.
Amber Walker:
… page is going to look different and I love watching how people put their own spin and what their therapeutic process is. So it’s exciting to hear that your daughter’s found that for herself. She’s found that niche for herself. That’s therapeutic for her.
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah. And she doesn’t want to touch any of the art that I do because that’s what mom does, right?
Amber Walker:
Yes. Right, yeah.
Miriam Schulman:
Does your daughter do any journaling? How old is Lilly?
Amber Walker:
I actually have two daughters. My older daughter, she does a ton and it’s beautiful and she doesn’t put it out there at all. Lilly, she’s nine. It’s so funny you asked me that because yesterday she says, “Can you show me how to do eyes?” And so we were doing eyes and she couldn’t wait. She’s like, “I’ve always wanted to make red hair like Jimmy from Harry Potter.” So she’s painting the red hair. So yes, she does her own, she’s a very free like I want to throw paint at it. So we’ve actually made large paintings together too.
Miriam Schulman:
Oh interesting.
Amber Walker:
Yeah. But she’s very, I love watching her. It’s fun to watch. I don’t know how many kids you’ve watched paint and I haven’t watched many, but she just will throw paint at it and just get right in the process like completely in the flow. It’s exciting to see, to see why it’s so therapeutic that you can just play.
Miriam Schulman:
Yeah. And it reminds me of that Picasso quote that he spent his whole life learning how to paint like a child again. That’s not the exact quote but that was the sentiment that you have your most creativity when you’re young and then you conform and then you spend your whole life getting back to that place again of childlike wonder.
Amber Walker:
It’s funny you mention him because I didn’t really understand his art and then I went to, I think it was in Texas, an art gallery and did this huge painting of his. And there was something very moving about it. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen his paintings in person but I was shocked at the energy and it sounds funny but there is something to his work that I stood there for a very long time just studying it. There was some emotion from it. I couldn’t even pick up what it was but there was an intense emotion from it.
Miriam Schulman:
I love when that happens when you’re standing in front of a piece of artwork and you get moved.
Amber Walker:
Yeah, me too.
Miriam Schulman:
All right. So this is a great place to wrap up. Amber’s book Visual Workbook: The Story of Tat Nook and You, I have a link to it in the show notes which you can find at schulmanart.com/107. It’s on Amazon. I’ve also put it in the book club if you want to see more books I recommend, schulmanart.com/bookclub. All right, Amber, do you have any last words for my listeners before we call this show complete?
Amber Walker:
I would just say to all the trauma survivors out there, I just want them to know that there’s hope and there are resources. They’re not alone and I hope that this book accomplishes that, that it sends the message that you’re not alone and that there is help and there’s treatment for trauma. I hope they don’t suffer alone and hope that they come forward and seek therapy and hold that hope for themselves. Thank you, Miriam.
Miriam Schulman:
Well, thank you so much for being with me here today. This has really been a beautiful episode. I’m sure my listeners are going to love it. So thank you.
All right. So I want to let you know I’ve included links to all the places that we’ve mentioned in the show notes, Amber’s book, we’ll also make sure Sabrina Ward Harrison’s book’s in there too in case you’ve missed out on that. So the show notes schulmanart.com/107. And don’t forget, if you like this episode please check out the Artist Incubator. It’s my private coaching program for artists who want to take their current art business to the next level. It’s by application only, schulmanart.com/biz. Just answer a few questions just to make sure that we’re a good fit for each other and we’ll have an interview and we’ll discuss the next steps you need to take to reach your goals and thrive.
Thanks so much for being with me here today. I’ll see you the same time, same place next week. Make it a great one. Bye.
Thank you for listening to The Inspiration Place podcast. Connect with us on Facebook at Facebook.com/schulmanart, on Instagram @schulmanart, and of course on schulmanart.com.
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