TRANSCRIPT: Ep. 234 She Builds with Jadah Sellner and Miriam Schulman

THE INSPIRATION PLACE PODCAST

Jadah Sellner:
It’s an interesting path to be an artist, to be a creative in this world too, because we’re taking into account the people that are helping us make it the best work that it can be, taking into account who do we want to serve, and then also for our own selves and expression. So it’s a lot. And then for me, I had a cultural sensitivity read as well in my manuscript to where could I be more inclusive. Where are the places where it might not be my own personal sensitivity, but to really think and at least consider others and how their experience in reading and receiving your work, your art might be, so that it’s a dance.

Miriam Schulman:
It is a dance.

Jadah Sellner:
And we have to make intentional choices every step along the way too.

Speaker 3:
It’s the Inspiration Place podcast with artist, Miriam Schulman. Welcome to the Inspiration Place podcast, an art world inside a podcast for artists by an artist where each week we go behind the scenes to uncover the perspiration and inspiration behind the art. And now your host, Miriam Schulman.

Miriam Schulman:
Well, hello, my friend. It’s Miriam Schulman here, your curator of inspiration and author of the book Artpreneur. This is episode number 234. So before we bring on today’s guest, I just wanted to talk to you about what’s going on in my part of the world. And it’s all things Artpreneur. I’ve been meeting every few weeks with the publisher, and we’ve been hatching all kinds of plans, whether those are book signings in local bookstores. I believe we’ve scheduled one in Connecticut. We’re scheduling one in Westchester. We’re scheduling in New York City. We’re scheduling in New Jersey, and I’m looking for other towns to schedule it in. I think Boston is also going to be on the schedule. And basically, it is a paperback book, so we are looking very carefully at what the pre-order numbers are, because that is what bookstores use to determine if they’re going to shelve the books in their stores.

So that’s where pre-orders really help out. If you want to have me come to your local bookstore, I definitely can go anywhere in the tri-state area, and I’m hoping to expand my tour to Nashville, to San Diego, to Miami, to other places as well, Cleveland, Cincinnati, I’m not sure. There’s a bunch of places. Portland, Seattle, I don’t know. I could really use your help. So by pre-ordering the book, not only does it make it more likely that I’ll be visiting you in your town, but I have a bunch of bonus goodies for you. So I’m just going to open up the website so I won’t forget what all of these are.

So it’s artpreneurbook.com. It’s like one of those vanity URLs. So on that page, you’re going to see this really cool video that I made, and I talk about what’s included in Artpreneur. So Artpreneur does go over all five parts of the passion-to-profit framework in detail. So it’s not just a rah-rah cheerleading book. It really does teach you step-by-step what you need to do to make a full-time living from your creativity. But here are the things that we have in store for you when you pre-order, since when is this airing? This one is airing at the end of November. So we have definitely some incentives for you to pre-order now.
So first of all, there is the Artpreneur Live experience. So there’s going to be three live interactive coaching sessions with yours truly. And you can bring all your Artpreneur questions to these sessions and get answers. And of course, all of them will be recorded and you’ll have access to them in the forever classroom.

And then there’s the Artpreneur Affirmation series. So these are 12 videos. I just finished recording them. Hair flip, they are amazing. She pats herself on the back. They’re fun. First of all, there’s some really cool art journal techniques in there, but I also do a potpourri of other things. I read from the book. I give you summaries from the book. I give you a little extra behind the scenes. I tell you things that aren’t included in the book or drama that happened either in the stories around the book or the making of the book. So you don’t want to miss out on the Artpreneur Affirmation series.

And then we also put together what I’m calling the Artpreneur Appendix, which is all the best resources. We’ve curated websites, directories, and tools that will really help you grow your art business, so that you don’t have to spend time procrasti-learning. So we’ve put that all together. All you have to do to get your hands on it is pre-order the paperback book, which costs less than $20.

Oh, one more thing. I have an in-person Artpreneur Mastermind experience in New York City, and we are going to pull the names for three lucky winners. So three lucky winners will be selected to participate in a one-day coaching extravaganza, where together we’ll map out your passion-to-profit framework for the year, and I’ll treat you to a fabulous dinner in New York City.
So for all of that, go to artpreneurbook.com. Pre-order your book, enter your name and your email address, and pull the order number off of your receipt, whether that was online or in person. You can go to a regular bookstore and say, “Hey, I want to pre-order this,” and they’ll get it for you and just get your receipt, because we all like to support independent book sellers. So enter that all in. You’ll get the Artpreneur Affirmation series right away, and the Artpreneur Live will be happening once the book comes out. And you’ll get the appendix right away, and we have the in-person Mastermind. I believe that’s going to be either in the spring or the summer. All right, my friend, artpreneurbook.com, and now on with the show.

Today’s guest is a best-selling author, business coach, international keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, poet and host of the Lead with Love podcast. She’s also the author of She Builds, the Anti-Hustle Guide to Grow Your Business and Nourish Your Life and the co-author of the best selling book, Simple Green Smoothies. As the founder of her own media company and She Builds Collective, she helps women build their businesses and their lives in a way that works for them with love. She’s been featured in Forbes, O, the Oprah magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. When she’s not speaking on stage, you can catch her dancing to Beyonce in her living room or sipping chai tea latte by a cozy fireplace in the San Francisco Bay area with her husband, daughter, and dog. Beasley. Please welcome to the Inspiration Place Jadah Sellner. Well, hey there, Jadah, welcome to the show.

Jadah Sellner:
I’m so excited to be here and for us to connect face-to-face and have this cozy conversation with you.

Miriam Schulman:
In the notes it says, “Rhymes with Prada,” and I’m having this brain fart. I’m like, wait, how do you pronounce Prada? Am I pronouncing Prada right? So I’m trying to think of, am I doing this right? Yeah, no, I’m very excited about.

Jadah Sellner:
It’s interesting because I used to not correct people, and they would call me Jayda for years. And so it was just a few years ago, I was like, I need to be brave enough to correct people to pronounce my name. And I know I forget. So I’ve also gotten more comfortable with, “Can you remind me how to say your name again?” Because often we’re trying to have these niceties, and it’s just we’re human, and our memory can only hold so many things. So I try to say Jadah like Prada.

Miriam Schulman:
I love that. People call me all kinds of things, and unless it’s nasty, I don’t always correct them. It’s like, “No, my name isn’t Mary.” No, that doesn’t work.

Jadah Sellner:
Right. Or the nicknames. Can I call you?

Miriam Schulman:
Right? Oh, well, the worst is when my book contract came, and it said Maria Schulman. And I was like, oops. You’re having imposter syndrome already, and it’s not even your name on the contract. It’s like, oh, I guess they don’t know who I am. All right. But we’re here to talk about your book. I am so excited about it. The first thing that I want to talk about is at the very beginning, which makes it sound like I didn’t read the book, but I did, I promise. Not the whole thing, but you talk about Toni Morrison, about writing the book you want to read. Could you tell us more about that? Because this really spoke to me.

Jadah Sellner:
I’ve been an entrepreneur for over 14 years, but I had started being a creative first, a poet. I studied theater in high school, and as I was reading entrepreneurial type business books and building, I didn’t see myself represented in the books that I was reading. I was a mom, married, a woman of color, I’m black, Chinese and white, and also a creative. And the books that I was reading were written mostly by Ivy League college-educated white men who didn’t have the same type of caregiving responsibilities and partnership as I did.

And so I got a lot of strategies from the books, but I also felt a little bit like maybe it’s not possible for me. With all the things that I’m carrying in my life, that it wouldn’t be possible for me. So I was constantly searching. Who is a mom? Who is someone who didn’t get a college degree that was successful? I was really looking for that. As they say, representation matters. And so it’s been on my heart for years to write an entrepreneurial book that is designed for creative visionary thinkers that also have a lot of caregiving responsibilities, whether you’re caregiving for your own children, elders, your own chronic illness, whatever that is, where it’s taking into account our whole lives, not just this slice of I’m only a business owner, I work 80 hours a week, go, go, go. And it just didn’t speak to the way that I like to create and build.

Miriam Schulman:
I love what you have in this book, and it fills in so many gaps in the book that I wanted to write. So I wanted to write a book for women artists, and my publisher felt that was too narrow. So we were more inclusive in our messaging. But at the same time, I did not lose the inclusivity in my book. Because one of the things that I found as an artist is not only were the books written by white men, but there weren’t any women in the books, let alone women of color.

And that was so unfair since there are so many examples, going back for hundreds of years, Edmonia Lewis, who was a black sculptor working in Europe, Julie Mehretu, Ethiopian born, who is at the Whitney now. So when I wrote my book, even if this wasn’t going to be just a book for woman with all the things that you talk about which we’re going to unpack today, I wanted to make sure that people could see themselves, because it’s so hard for us to imagine ourselves successful when we don’t have examples of people who look like us succeeding.

Jadah Sellner:
And I also think it’s important, and I question because I have she in my business title, and I was like, is this inclusive enough? But also we’ve been reading books for years centering men’s stories. And so it doesn’t mean that a man or anyone on their gender spectrum couldn’t read a book that is centering women’s stories because we have been in that seat for years. So to me, I think that instead, even we’re not being exclusive, we’re just centering and uplifting and highlighting certain stories that are more relatable to our own lived experience. But it doesn’t mean that someone who does not identify as woman or was not socialized as female at birth, that they couldn’t also get a lot from stories that center women in the narrative.

Miriam Schulman:
100%. One of the other struggles I had with writing was one of the editors … So as you know, but my listeners don’t know, there’s a lot of editors who come in throughout this process. I had this fantasy that it’s the person who signed me, and I go sit in her office, and she smokes a cigarette and drinks a Diet Coke, and we discuss the book. No, that’s nothing at all what this process is. These anonymous editors who come in and trash your book. And so one of these anonymous people didn’t like when I used metaphors that centered women, as you would say, and I just rejected this. Well, it’s a metaphor. But then in other places she wanted me to use baseball metaphors. So I was like, “Okay, so it either has to be gender neutral or masculine,” because masculine is considered what’s widely accepted. We’ve been reading these baseball and football metaphors for years, like you said, and nobody says, “Oh, a woman can’t read this book.”

Jadah Sellner:
There’s a word, a terminology in editing, stet, which is S-T-E-T. Did you get that?

Miriam Schulman:
I don’t know. There were words that I had to write back-

Jadah Sellner:
I think this is important for artists to hear because we have people who are curating or they’re responding to, and we also still have to connect to our own soul and vision of what we’re trying to create and be willing to go against what someone else’s opinion or preferences are. Of course, editors and whoever’s helping us is helping try to create the best piece of work, the body of work that is suitable for people to consume.

But we also have to reconnect of, actually the baseball metaphor is not my vision, and it’s not aligned with what I’m trying to express or share in the world. So I think it’s important for us to also, it’s okay to push back against criticism even for people who are designated as helpers because they don’t have the full spectrum of the story and the vision and who you’re trying to connect with or what you’re trying to express.

And that’s something that I had to learn in the writing process because I was looking at all those different editors of well, they know better. They have a college degree and English, and so they must have the taste that is correct. But it’s just their own preference and lens. So I think we need to remember that it’s okay to push back and be like, “Thank you for that advice or suggestion, but I’m going to go a different way.”

Miriam Schulman:
And so I think that’s important for my audience of creatives to hear, whether you’re a writer, a musician, choreographer, a painter, that there is some criticism you’re going to get, which maybe at first … You probably had this experience too. There were some things at first I wanted to push back on, and then I had to step away from the canvas and understand that, oh, I have to listen to this because I don’t want to alienate people by them misunderstanding my core message because there was something here that I don’t find offensive, but that somebody else might. So it’s not about watering it down. And then there were other times, just like you said, where I took the step back, and I was like, okay, no, this is an opportunity for me to double down.

Jadah Sellner:
Yeah, I think that’s important to think of in that process of getting feedback is taking the feedback and not immediately responding. For me, it’s like whenever I get notes, okay, let me sleep on it because I’m triggered in all these different places. And then what are the pieces that are true or where do I have questions and curiosity around? And I think it’s an interesting path to be an artist, to be a creative in this world too, because we’re taking into account the people that are helping us make it the best work that it can be, taking into account who do we want to serve, and then also for our own selves and expression. So it’s a lot.

And then for me, I had a cultural sensitivity read as well in my manuscript to where could I be more inclusive. Where are the places where it might not be my own personal sensitivity, but to really think and at least consider others and how their experience in reading and receiving your work, your art might be so that it’s a dance.

Miriam Schulman:
It is a dance.

Jadah Sellner:
And you have to make intentional choices every step along the way too.

Miriam Schulman:
I wanted to just share two more things about my writing process, but I do have a whole list of questions about your book, and I don’t want to hijack the conversation. When I signed the contract in June, they said, “Come back in December with the finished manuscript.” And I freaked out. I actually sought out a book editor, and then I intentionally chose somebody who is not the same as me, not another white woman.

So Candace L. Davis was recommended by our mutual friend, Rachel Luna. So she was working with her already, and so she helped me with that. And then I was very fortunate that even though HarperCollins is this very traditional white male Christian publishing house, that actually they assigned me another woman of color as an editor within. So I actually had two voices that really helped me expand the inclusivity beyond what I was able to provide from my own limited experience.

Jadah Sellner:
That’s beautiful.

Miriam Schulman:
So I was fortunate that way. Let’s dive in. So I’m going to just go through the list of talking points and what I want my listeners to know. So this is partly a tease for the rest of the conversation, but it’s also a tease that if we don’t get to all these things, that it’s in her book. So the book will be out as of the day that this podcast drops. So we’re recording this in September, but in November, hopefully nothing will have blown up by then. Elon Musk blows up the world or something.

So we’re going to talk about toxic productivity. We’re going to talk about the passion paradox. We’re going to talk about high-functioning anxiety. We’re going to talk about hustle culture versus intentional living. We’re going to talk about cycle of fear, brain sneeze, value of vision, date with future self. Value of travel, accountability part … Oh, this is a long list. We’re definitely not going to get to all this.

Jadah Sellner:
No, for sure. I would rather go deep than-

Miriam Schulman:
Every time I looked, these were like, “Ooh.” Did I already say harmonious versus obsessive passion?

Jadah Sellner:
Mm-mm.

Miriam Schulman:
No, I didn’t.

Jadah Sellner:
That’s actually a great one.

Miriam Schulman:
Transactional relationships. Ought-oh. Calendar bodyguards. And then I think the other thing circles back to me, which I’m not even going to put that on the list.

Jadah Sellner:
I feel like it’s like charades. We’re going to pick out of a hat which ones are feeling most sparkiest and alive, because it’s a lot of terminology, a lot of things. And I’d rather go deep than wide, for sure.

Miriam Schulman:
So those are all on our jeopardy board right now. Which one are you going to pick?

Jadah Sellner:
Well, I think it’s interesting around the obsessive passion and harmonious passion.

Miriam Schulman:
Let’s do it.

Jadah Sellner:
Because as artists, as creatives, that we can get stuck in obsessive passion, which is what moves us, what drives us into creativeness. For me, beautiful mind, index cards spread out everywhere, all of these pieces. But we also have to pay attention to our pacing around our passions and what we’re feeling excited and inspired by, because it can also compromise our health and relationships in the process.

So it’s being able to redefine our relationship with passion. I think as artists, of course, we are passionate about what we do, but we have to also pay attention to just sustainability. How do we sustain this in a way that nourishes us so we don’t burn out with our work, with our creative expression? And so being able to be in relationship with your art and your work in a new way, where you’re looking at how can we make this more harmonious, where it integrates with my whole life and I’m not just getting stuck down this pathway. And I will say I have a lot of obsessive passion tendency in me.

Miriam Schulman:
Me, too. Let’s define what that is so that people can recognize. So I want you to define obsessive passion first, so people can recognize themselves in that, and then we’ll talk about what harmonious passion is the ideal, what it could look like.

Jadah Sellner:
So with obsessive passion, you’re one-focused. You’re singly focused on this one thing. Nothing else around you exists. It’s just all the way in. And with harmonious passion, we’re able to see this is important, but here are some other things that are important as well. And so that it can be more sustainable.

And it’s okay to let that obsessive part of you live. So for example, how I do this in my own work is I book retreats, creative solo retreats where I go in a hotel, allow myself to be in my pajamas, wake up, do my work, write, go to sleep, and not have to tune into my family’s needs. What does everyone else need to eat? How are you? Because for me, I’m an introvert, and so that drains my energy.

But I schedule in time where I can get obsessive, but then knowing that can’t be forever. It can’t overflow into my whole life. I actually have to get back to my daily life. So for me, that’s a way that I pulse that obsessive passion to be more harmonious, so that I am paying attention to my body, to my family, to even my business. I’d rather do the art and the creative projects than actually the business side of things, which is actually getting our work out into the world so people can pay us, make sure our needs are met.

Miriam Schulman:
And sometimes what obsessive passion can also look like is it, I think, overlaps with the toxic productivity. Well, talk about that because I definitely saw myself in that description. I wake up. Part of it, it’s partly hormonal. So I’m a woman in my fifties, so I’ll wake up at 2:00 in the night, and I’m revved up, and I have to solve all my business problems at 2:00 in the morning. Not physically getting out of bed, but in my mind, in my mind. You were describing. It was like, oh yeah, that’s me. I need this book. I need to do these exercises. So describe what that is for people who, more than just the symptoms that I just described.

Jadah Sellner:
So with toxic productivity, it’s this insatiable need to constantly be doing something, to be productive, for completion. And as artists, we need to be looking at things as a practice and not constantly chasing the finish line. That everything, if we look at everything as a practice versus it’s an emergency, and that’s where our brains go. We get into this place of we’re in high alert, and then our nervous systems are rattled, and it’s like we can’t sleep. We’re constantly up, we’re constantly doing. And then if we’re not doing something, we’re not being productive, then we’re shaming ourselves of I’m too far behind, everyone’s ahead of me. So then we get into this comparison, and it’s a mental cycle that becomes very exhausting for ourselves.

So even if we’re not physically exerting, like you said, your mind, you’re up, your mind is racing, and it’s this constant feeling of not enoughness. I’m not doing enough, I’m not creating enough, I’m not earning enough. So the solution must be to do more in as little time as possible. And our time is finite, and we are finite. And so we have to be in a new relationship with how we show up in the doing and giving ourselves space to also be in just the thinking, the simmering, like I say in the book, permission to be a slow cooker.

 

There’s sometimes where it’s like, I’m not moving as fast as the rest of the world, but a lot of our art and our creativity is also just happening in the background in our minds, in us living our lives. That’s when we get the most inspiration and where we’re fueled is just actually, if we take a step away from our work, we will be more inspired to create and coming from a different place than must get this done or else. And it’s like we don’t want to create from that place, and we don’t want to pass that energy on to the people who consume our art either.

Miriam Schulman:
And I also love the way, this sounds like we’re skipping to a different part of the book, which we kind of are, but how you talk about having that whole team of people that support you. And by team, I’m not talking about your VA, I’m talking about your therapist, your life coach, your Mastermind sisters, which check, check, check, by the way.

Jadah Sellner:
Yes, I love it.

Miriam Schulman:
The reason I wanted to bring that up now is this book, part of it is … You know how when you read a book and it’s like what you need to hear is what you’re going to hear? So that’s part of it as well. But just last week I was describing to my therapist how I had been waking up in the night. And I’m not anxious per se, although that’s kind of what it is. Like you said, high-functioning anxiety. But I just feel revved up. And she said to me, “How would it be if you just sat on your hands and did nothing?” I said, “I don’t think I could do that.” She was like, “Well, that’s what you have to do now every day for 30 minutes.” So I’ve done it a handful of times since she gave me that homework. I haven’t made it to 30 minutes yet, by the way.

Jadah Sellner:
Do you set a timer?

Miriam Schulman:
I don’t set a timer. I put a digital clock, an old-fashioned clock, in front of me, so my phone is nowhere present. Sometimes I’m playing with the candle, so that’s not exactly nothing. I’m moving the wax around. If the candle blows out, I’m not allowed to re-light it. Sometimes I’ll drink a cup of tea. That’s kind of doing something, but I’m not.

Jadah Sellner:
It’s a slowing down.

Miriam Schulman:
It is. And it has helped my sleep. It has. The other thing she said, I’m not allowed when I wake up, I’m not allowed to get out of bed unless it’s to go to the bathroom, and that’s it. I have to go right back to sleep, right back to bed. So it has helped.

Jadah Sellner:
And there’s something. So I know we talked about the support squad, but also just where we’re going right now is being able to build in the practices that allow us to slow down, that nourish us because our nervous systems are activated and in high alert. So I love that practice of … And for me, I’ll set the timer for 30 minutes.

Miriam Schulman:
Oh, you do?

Jadah Sellner:
And sometimes it’s just laying on the floor and putting my legs up on the couch or putting my legs up on a wall so the blood is flowing down. But setting a timer, playing instrumental music, things that just allow us to start to breathe and connect our breath. Not everyone has to start a meditation practice right away. That’s not always the easiest way in. But there are some creative ways of how do we slow down and nourish ourselves so that we’re not in that high alert. Our minds are going so fast, and so I love that your therapist invited you to do that.

So what I talk about is gather your support squad. So it’s the three buckets of having your Mastermind support of people who are your parallel playmates. They’re creating, they’re generating, they’re facing very similar struggles and problems as you and supporting you in problem solving together. And then we have our mentors and advisors. Those are people who are steps ahead of us that can share their wisdom, their experience with us. And we could have mentors from afar, right? Listening to a podcast or reading a book.

I’ve interned with some of my mentors and like, “I will work with you for free.” Just how can you start to learn more about that work? And then the piece that I think a lot of people don’t talk about is that emotional support with a therapist or a life coach or an energy healer. Something that can help you connect to some of that as we like, oh, we’re procrastinating, or we’re facing resistance.

A lot of times it’s an emotional block, a need that hasn’t been expressed and fully seen. And once that’s acknowledged, we can move forward and do it in a more compassionate way versus the ah, fire, something’s happening, and I need to solve this right away. So I love that you brought that up and you’re like, check, check, check.
It’s an integrated, a more holistic way of being supported, not just, I just need this person and that’s it. We are whole humans, and we need a wealth of relationships that are serving us.

Miriam Schulman:
And I just want to circle back to what you said about, I call them Mastermind sisters. You had a term for your-

Jadah Sellner:
I think Mastermind is from Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich book. And so I have different names for all of my groups from Soulful Sister Mind to the Dream Team, all these different. It’s like each group, I have a lot of Masterminds of circles of support that serve me in different ways.

Miriam Schulman:
And what I wanted just to bring up though is that what we’re talking about right now, at least this is what I think we’re talking about, it’s not just the fancy expensive Masterminds that you can join. Those are good too, especially if you don’t have that pool of people to pull from. Because the group that I’m a part of right now, we call each other The Hive. There’s five of us women, but four of us met in one of those Mastermind groups that we did pay for, and then we picked up a stray along the way.
So there is value in joining those groups because I find the relationship capital that you can gain from meeting people who are trying to do the same things that you are that may not know in your own circles and communities, there is value in that, but I believe what we’re talking about right now is really forming that peer group of support. Is that right?

Jadah Sellner:
Yes, absolutely. And you’re right. There’s many people that I’ve met, whether it’s been someone else’s paid Mastermind or an online course that I signed up for of being able to build, where do I find those people? And there’s also a little bit of an awkward dance that we have to get comfortable with in building friends and peers that are in the same work that we’re doing is you have to put yourself out there. You have to invite people and get comfortable with micro rejections because not everyone is going to say yes to your Mastermind group that you’re putting together, especially when it’s peer-based.

So also being comfortable with, hey, some people might say no. You also might outgrow some Mastermind groups too over time and knowing when something feels complete. So I think reciprocity is really important, where you don’t feel like you’re the smartest person in the room, or you’re the one always teaching and coaching and guiding and giving solutions, and then you don’t feel fed or you’re not growing in that process. So really paying attention to that is important.

And also being a good friend, consistency. For me, I love the structure of Masterminds because we have something on the calendar. We know how often we’re going to connect, and there’s just structure around friendship. And that’s how I get the closest with my friends. Because in life we get busy, and it’s like, oh, I can’t make it. I can’t make that date. So there’s something very powerful about starting that group and being on top of the calendar for consistency. It’s like at the end of every session, we’re getting the next one on the calendar in real time, versus letting our email inbox get over flooded and not picking a date. I think that part is so important.

Miriam Schulman:
That’s such a good point, because I think with my hive, we have not been as careful about maintaining that consistency. And it’s true.

Jadah Sellner:
And if you see that, if there’s not the consistency, you might want to actually join a paid one for the structure and the consistency. That’s because people can get aloof and all over the place. And sometimes when you are investing in something financially, that means everyone’s invested and committed. But also we know resources, I like to be creative. Everyone has different budgets of what they can invest. For me, I just started with one person, a friend who was my old roommate of, she read Think and Grow Rich. I was like, “You know what a Mastermind is?” And we just talked on the phone every Tuesday at 8:00 PM for an hour after our kids were asleep. So it can be affordable and accessible and light. It doesn’t have to be a million people in the group. It can start with one, and then you can expand to The Hive and have five people in the group.

Miriam Schulman:
I’ve done both. I’ve never regretted the investment of some of these higher ticket masterminds because I always felt not only was I … My husband teases me, I’m paying for friends. But not only am I making friendships afterwards, but these are lifelong friends. But you’re also investing in the network of the mentor. So you get access to not just the mentor, but their network as well because you’ve invested in it. There is something that there is no money currency that helps.

Jadah Sellner:
You mentioned the transactional relationships. Because we can also be looking at like, oh, I want to know who that person knows. But for me, I think relationship building should be more transformational than transactional. And so I look at values. I’ve joined Masterminds and the values weren’t aligned with who I am and how I express myself in the world. And so then I start to question my own identity. Am I doing this right? Am I a real entrepreneur? Am I a real creative? All of these things. And so paying attention to values of the mentor that you’re jumping into as well is really important because for me, I value whole life integration.

I want to be able to acknowledge the personal responsibilities I have as well as the work responsibilities I have and the creative pieces. So I think that’s really important to pay attention to. Would I be friends with this person in my life if there wasn’t a transactional element to the piece to find some of the shared values?

Miriam Schulman:
That’s such a good point. We have so many. I’m just going to spin the rule out now. There was a couple of things here. Date with future self. Let’s talk about that because that’s always a concept I love. I know she’s out there.

Jadah Sellner:
Something that I invite people to do, and this could be something that you do that you’re listening right now, is writing a letter to your future self or writing the vision that you want to architect for your life. So often we don’t think about how we want to feel in our lives. What are the experiences that we want to have? What brings us joy? And what’s the contribution that we want to make and be of service? And there’s something really beautiful about what I call future vision, which is actually to write at least three years into the future, just describing your life. Use your imagination to really connect to all those pieces, and then let it go and release it.

So just writing, this is what I would like to create, how I want to feel in my home. In my office right now, you can see I’m surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows. And it feels like there’s just tons of trees surrounded by me. And I wrote this in one of my future vision exercises before, and there’s something about just writing down what you want. I know it sounds super woo-woo. I always say I’m new to woo. My friends are way more magical and mystical than I am. I like to also pair the practicality towards it as well.

But there’s something about just setting your intention of what is it that you want and being able to journal and write and answer these thoughtful questions about your life, your work, your creative expression. There’s just something very powerful about that. And it’s always been a compass for me. It’s not a roadmap, it’s not a step-by-step here’s how we’re going to get there. It’s just like, these are the things that would be really cool if they existed in my world. And to write it down, there’s actually scientific studies around encoding. When we write something down that our brains then kind of have that operating in the subconscious and then fold it, release it, let it go and revisit it in three years and just see what pieces actually came alive and came true from having that date with your future self to really connect to what is it I want.

And even if you’ve done this exercise before, I’d invite you to do it again. It’s an exercise I do every couple of years because so often we create or reach the thing that we want, and then we get in this place where we plateau. And we’re like, I don’t know why things are so hard. Because we haven’t extended the timeline of, okay, what do I want to create next? And what is my heart calling me to build in this next season of my life?

Miriam Schulman:
So is that how you came up with the title She Builds?

Jadah Sellner:
Yeah. It’s interesting. I was having lunch at True Food Kitchen with a friend, and I was in a transition. I had exited my company, Simple Green Smoothies. I knew I wanted to start a podcast. And I was like, who am I? What am I? Just this big transition identity crisis. And we were just ruminating and brainstorming out loud collectively, which is actually how Napoleon Hill of Think and Grow Rich defines a Mastermind is when two minds come together, there’s a third, kind of a miracle mind, that’s created in that process.

And so She Builds came up. That was in, oh, that was maybe 2018. And I bought the Domain for $1,800. I’ve never done anything like that. I always just get the cheap domain. Was it available? Great. It’s not meant for me. But I paid for that domain having no idea what I was going to do with it. I was scared, just be like, “That can’t be my podcast name.” So my podcast is Lead With Love. But it was just this little inspiration spark that I followed and just was a placeholder for this future idea.
I didn’t know it would be a book. I had no idea. And I thought the book would be Love Over Metrics or Lead With Love or all these things. And then one conversation with my book coach at the time, I mentioned that name. He’s like, “Ooh.” And it was just this like, “Oh.” There’s something, like an energy shifted, in what this book was really about and what I was really trying to share and say. She builds vision. She builds community. She builds wealth. She builds herself up while building others and being able to give ourselves permission that we do build differently and that we can build from a place of love.

Miriam Schulman:
So as Dual Terrones was on the podcast and he actually talks about you, so I’ll be sure to link to that interview. I didn’t think I ahead of time to look up the number, but that will be linked in the show notes, which this is episode 234, so that’ll be in schulmanart.com/234. We’re about to wrap up, but I just want to let everybody know that She Builds is available in bookstores now, or you can order it on the website that Jadah just shared with us, which is shebuilds.com. Is that right?

Jadah Sellner:
Yes, yes, yes.

Miriam Schulman:
And is there a book bonus?

Jadah Sellner:
Yes. There’s a lot of great bonuses.

Miriam Schulman:
Love it.

Jadah Sellner:
Even just how my husband and I, we do an annual couple’s retreat. And so I have a schedule, that basically the retreats that I lead for my own clients, where we’re working on our future visions and we’re creating quarterly plans and just connecting to our projects, I have a schedule that I’ve curated just for my husband and I that we do every year, and pulling the best of that are very easy for someone who, maybe … My husband, he’s an artist. He’s a musician. And so his business brain, even though he runs his own business, so he’s not interested in all the business type things.

So it’s curated for the non-business minded mindset to be able to reflect and build out your year and your vision. So that will be included. And there’s lots of fun bonuses, a visioning workshop to actually guide people through answering their own future vision questions and those prompts and things, so that you can take the time to step away from the day-to-day hustle of what you’re building, creating, designing, and actually connect to what it is that you really want. And just taking that moment for you to connect and write it down, encode it in your brain so that you can revisit a few years later. So yeah, there’s lots of great bonuses there for sure.

Miriam Schulman:
Well, I am definitely buying the book and downloading the bonuses. So I got the free preview copy on my digital, which is not my favorite way to read, by the way.

Jadah Sellner:
I know.

Miriam Schulman:
So I like to write in the margins. I was planning on getting the book anyway, but I definitely want that retreat blueprint. So I was thinking, “Well, I could use that with my hive. I could use that with my daughter.”

Jadah Sellner:
A friend, a business trustee, your Hive, your Mastermind circle, just to be able to recreate that. Just rent a cabin or an Airbnb or whatever it is. There’s just something so powerful about stepping away from your day-to-day responsibilities and making space and time to think and dream about what it is that you want to create next. And then you can get all logistical and strategic and create a plan. But first, we have to set the vision.

Miriam Schulman:
Beautiful. All right. So we’ve included links to all these things, again, in the show notes. If you’re on your phone, just tap where you’re listening. Or head on over to schulmanart.com/234. And don’t forget about the presale bonus. The only way you can win that in-person Artpreneur Mastermind is by pre-ordering the book from the page artpreneurbook.com. And I would love to meet you in New York City, so we can work on your art business together. Because we all know there’s things that you’re not quite sure what you’re doing wrong, but you really need somebody to take a look at it, and I would love to help you. So to be entered to win that, it’s artpreneurbook.com. Alrighty. Do you have any last words for our listeners before we call this podcast complete?

Jadah Sellner:
Yeah. I would just love to give an invitation to what I talk about is 10 seconds of bravery. Is there something that you are holding back on that you’re afraid to make that ask, asking a friend on a date or to be a part of your own support squad? Could you just use 10 seconds of bravery to put that ask out? Whether it’s an email, text message, a DM, whatever it is, just make the request, make the ask to move you closer to your vision and your dreams. That’s just an invitation I would love for everyone to just try on and face that just a little bit. Just a little bit of bravery to get you closer to your vision and your dreams.

Miriam Schulman:
That’s beautiful. Thank you so much for being with me here today. I really enjoyed being in your zen energy. I was trying to temper my own. Too much coffee already, New York, East Coast energy, too many patriarchal male influences in my life. You’re totally zen. I can tell your husband strums the guitar for you every day.

Jadah Sellner:
It’s true. It’s true. And I also have my book on Audible too, so that’s a great way to just slow down. Just listen. Just allow yourself to be present. We all need that exhale in our lives.

Miriam Schulman:
So wonderful. Thank you again for being with me here. And my friend, thank you as well for being with me here today. I’ll see you at the same time, same place next week. Stay inspired.

Speaker 3:
Thank you for listening to the Inspiration Place podcast. Connect with us on Facebook at facebook.com/schulmanart, on Instagram @SchulmanArt, and of course, on schulmanart.com.

 

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